If you told 16 year old Stephanie that she would be a stay at home mom with two kids that spends her Saturdays watching them play soccer she probably would have slapped you in the face. But here we are. Although watching C “play” soccer is an overstatement. ┬áHe tends to dance around the kids that are actually making contact with the ball. His confusion seems to stem from the fact that for his entire 5 years on this planet we have told him- say excuse me, don’t bump into people, personal space. Teaching him that a little aggression on the field is a good thing has been challenging much to the husband’s frustration.

The husband literally had to yell things like, “Velociraptor Speed!” from the sidelines to motivate him to run faster. “Run like a dinosaur!” Whatever that means. And on more than one occasion C ASKED his coach for a snack break.

I may not have a soccer star on my hands but man can the kid down a package of strawberries like a champ.
The game ended with C yelling joyously, ” Yay! I get to go home!!” I’ve learned two things about soccer for 5 year olds: 1. It’s mostly to see how adorable the kid looks in cleats and shin guards. 2. Expectations should be as low as possible but your cheering should be as loud as possible.
I also have a strong feeling that when M starts playing contact sports we will have to explain to her that punching and eye gouging are not allowed.