I got my first few “haters” recently ( holla! girl’s got haters!!) accusing me of being too negative on social media and my blog and also that I must not love my children enough. While putting your opinion and life out there like this is inevitably going to invite other people’s viewpoints I’m really surprised by how many people feel I am being too honest. While I will not change my blogging style or worldview for the sake of people’s delicate dispositions, I do want to clear one thing up for anyone doubting: I love my children fiercely.
But (and this may be shocking ) I have children of the human variety. I must have missed the stork that delivered the perfect angel children that so many people claim to have on the social medias. And parenting actual real life human children is hard. Let me say that again: This sh*t is hard. ( Does anyone know why removing vowels from a swear word makes it less offensive?)
But isn’t it supposed to be that way? We are raising the next generation of humans. Yes these little people are a part of our individual stories but they are more importantly the next batch of earth dwellers to replace us when we are gone. We have to show them how to be good humans and not human garbage. This could possibly be the most lasting impression we leave on this planet! And if we sugar coat the ups and downs of this immensely important job we just help blindside the incoming crop of new parents. They deserve to see the good and the bad so they can carefully consider having children. We can’t be dumb enough to wonder why so many women get postpartum depression when the expectation of parenting is so different from the reality. There are some glorious mom moments. But these are sprinkled in between real life just enough to keep us from dropping the kids off at the local fire station. It’s as if all children are programmed to know just how far they can push you and right before you affix the shipping label to the box you are mailing them out in they do something adorable and buy themselves another week.
I don’t think parents get enough credit for the job they are doing. And most of the time it’s their second (or third) job of the day. Moms: you are f*cking rockstars. You grew ( or in some other badass hopefully legal way procured) a human. You were torn, cut open, fill in the blank….to get the thing out of you and yet directly after we are not only expected to care for it but we want to! We embrace this challenge. We willingly ( or unwillingly if the iud fails) give up certain comforts and lifestyles to raise these children. This should be celebrated more than it is. Moms and dads that are in the trenches of parenting ( and I’m in the early stages…God help me when they are teenagers) need honesty and support. And while I cannot offer support at this stage in my life as I perpetually have a 9 month old on my hip and a 5 year old holding my hand, I can offer honesty and will continue to.
|The face of complete exhaustion with a newborn who was evidently happy to chill in my armpit.|
Parenting is 85% hard work, 10% sheer joy and wonder, and 5% wanting to curl up in the fetal position and weep. Daily these percentages change sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. Here’s hoping that today the caffeine in my blood stream wins out over the fetal position percentage. Mom on, y’all!