I’ve been feeling guilty for not taking care of myself the way I used to. It has gotten better now that the baby is older- I usually can manage a shower once a day(ish). But my goal isn’t to just not smell bad, I want to actually look like I take an iota of pride in my own appearance and not just my kids. Now that I’m (FINALLY) getting a solid 5 hours of sleep at night I’ve got goals, people! 
Ah look at this unsuspecting 22 year old. Showered, wearing jewelry and makeup and drinking cheap champagne out a straw. Those were the days.

She had no clue this would happen. 

Throw a load of laundry in every day. To y’all without kids this may sound like an insane amount of laundry. But I promise you that with all the food, vomit, poop, and other bodily fluids emanating from children this just barely keeps them and myself in clean clothes. ( Newborn mama: Get some one else to do your laundry. Anyone else. Or just – and this is more likely- embrace the fact that you will smell like spit up and old breast milk for a solid month and a half.)
I have a system! Ok not really, this is just embarrassing.
Keep the clean clothes and the dirty clothes separate. No really. I’m embarrassed to say that my kids’ clothing is hung up and in drawers but mine lives in two baskets on the floor: the clean and the dirty. If you can’t differentiate between those baskets, start smelling things. It will quickly become apparent which basket you’re working with. There may also be some clothes that live in a more questionable space in between. Suitable for emergency coffee runs and dropping your kid off with grandma to then silently cry in your car, but not for much else. (Newborn mama: Screw that noise. You keep wearing that same nursing tank for a week- with or without a bra- I dare anyone to say something. 
Example of messy top knot of effing glory. 
One day a week do NOT rock a mom-bun. Say what? You heard me. Day 1-6 you throw that hair up in a messy topknot of glory but on day 7 change it up. Blow it out, style it, heck just wash and brush it. I did this a couple days ago and  it was sad how many people told me – you look nice today!- implying that I look like the hot mess I feel like all the other days.  ( Newborn mama: Mom buns for the win. You know the ones that start out looking strategically messy and cute and then slowly all the hair slips out and you look like Medusa except without the bad ass reptiles?) 
A couple other things I’ve learned recently.  Techy watches always look best when worn with Troll stickers or homemade jewelry. 
 Babies can cry for 30 seconds while I throw on a coat of mascara and some blush and they will not be permanently damaged.
A manicure and pedicure can go a long way to making you feel human again. Work out clothes are acceptable every day clothing whether or not you are headed to the gym.  And finally, even if you look like exhaustion personified, more than likely when you are smiling at your babies people see a beautiful woman who loves her little people. Or that’s what I hope for. Mom on, y’all.