Does anyone remember a day at the pool before kids? (Seriously does anyone? Because my mind is pretty shot these days.) I vaguely recall lounging with a good book or a magazine, earbuds in with some tunage, catnaps only interrupted by sips of my (never glass) adult beverage. Maybe I would jump in the pool to cool down and then repeat the lounging process until I was dry. I remember worrying about what sandals went with my swim suit. (I just snorted a little laughing at that nonsense.)
Fast forward to a pool day with the kids. Yes our pools may be different but I’m willing to bet at least one and probably most of these things will happen to you.
1. It will take you forever to pack. Gone are the days of throwing your sunscreen into a bag and strolling over to the pool. Take every child you have and multiply that number by 17. That is the number of things you are now required to take with you to the pool. Food, drinks, toys, sunscreen, bug spray, floaties, you name it and it will be in your oversized LL Bean tote. You will then be expected to carry all of this and most likely your children into the pool area.
2.You will forget something. After schlepping your smart car sized wagon of goodies to your destination you will forget something. And you won’t realize it until one of the blessed miracles in your life starts wailing about how they can’t possibly swim without their pink goggles and you only brought their green ones. Or if you are like me, you will forget to wear a swim suit. Yep. That makes for a fun trip back to the house.
3.Someone will get a bad case of the Hot Feets. I get it, that concrete is essentially the surface of the sun this time of year. Most of us can man or woman up and quickly tiptoe (no running!) to the shade. But typically one in your party will get the hot feets so badly that they just can’t ( literally CANNOT) move from the place where their little fiery toes are cemented and you have to go pick them up and throw them into the pool. I recently listened to my son, huddled under the lifeguard station umbrella, tearfully telling me he couldn’t walk the 5 feet to the location of our chairs because, you know, lava.
4.Someone will cry. The reasons for this are endless. See numbers 2 and 3 above. Or maybe their floatie has the wrong cartoon character on it.
5.You will say the word “noodle” about 30 times more than you want to.
6. You will need a large glass of wine afterwards. Red, white, rose, or a combination of all of these.
More than likely, despite the emotional turmoil you have been through, the kids will remember it as a blast. You will remember all of the above as well as the 20 seconds of quiet you got while submerged underwater playing who can hold their breath the longest. Bliss.